Tia McNelly

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What Does It Mean To Love Your Enemy?

With tensions rising politically and people becoming more vocal with their views, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to love our enemy as Jesus commanded.

I’ve been feeling increasingly opposed to a perceived demand for binary thinking in our culture. The pressure to apply thinking that asserts, “If you believe this or say that, you cannot also believe that or say this,” can be crippling at times. I used to even feel stifled by the notion that I shouldn’t say anything if I can’t say literally EVERYTHING from every angle or I will come off as ignorant or offend someone.

It’s true that we are not always forced to pick a side when it comes to the nuanced issues of our day, but what God has revealed through prayer and seeking His truth in scripture is that the Kingdoms of Heaven and Earth are entirely binary. There is good and there is evil. There is no in between. If you are a friend of the world, you are an enemy of God. (James 4:4)

In my exploration of what Jesus meant when He commanded us to love our enemies, three pressing questions emerged:

1- WHO IS YOUR ENEMY?

The spiritual reality for a Christ-follower, is that our only real enemy is Satan himself, the catalyst for everything that is opposed to God. So, are we called to love Satan? Of course not. But we are called to love those who are under his influence. The uncomfortable fact is that any time we sin (read: cooperate with Satan’s schemes) we are acting like an enemy of God. Now, we know that as followers of Jesus, we are not enemies of God. The Truth is that we have been chosen by Him to reveal His glory on this earth. And you know who isn’t a fan of that fact?

Could it beeeeeee, Saaaatan??? (Anybody remember the Church Lady from SNL?)

So when we encounter opposition in the natural realm, the true enemy of our souls is at work, tempting us and prodding us, cheering on our failure, whispering to us about our insecurities, and convincing us we are justified in our behavior or thinking that does not honor God..

There are definitely times when another person truly intends to be an enemy force in our lives. There are very real circumstances when someone is intentionally out to destroy us. John 10:10 says that the enemy SEEKS to steal, kill, and destroy. In other situations, the enemy convinces us to consider certain people in our lives to be enemies, usually those who offend, betray, accuse, or otherwise wrong us.

Our insecurities can also create enemies of those we subconsciously blame for our suffering, shortcomings, or failures. We have misplaced our focus when we make one another our enemy. Consumed by our own interest, we fall short and fail to love as Christ commanded. Ironically, to pridefully hate a created enemy is to align ourselves with them. This kind of self-centeredness makes us a friend of this world. If we choose to develop a narrative that makes an enemy of someone, we become anchored to blame by the weight of judgment, entitlement, superiority, and a spirit of poverty. 

And so now it is important to ask:

2- WHO IS NOT YOUR ENEMY?

  • Anyone who disagrees with you

  • Someone who is holding a grudge against you

  • Anyone who corrects or questions you

  • The “competition" in your field

  • Someone who has not met your unspoken expectations

  • Anyone who makes choices you don’t agree with

  • Leaders who fail you

  • Supporters who abandon you

  • Friends who disappoint you

  • People who vote differently than you

{PAUSE- Full disclosure? This is where things got messy for me and they might for you as well. Early on in the process of researching and writing this article, I was so deeply convicted that I had to stop and immediately repent and pray. As that list of people who are NOT my enemy developed, a list of specific individuals in my life began to emerge— people I’d dismissed, written off, pushed away, or otherwise alienated out of pride, self-centeredness, and misplaced blame. I had unknowingly, yet willingly, created enemies in my heart. Jesus, come. }

I am convinced that when we allow Satan to drive a wedge where Jesus intends to breathe life, our one true enemy has cleverly fooled us into cooperating with his schemes. 

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like it when the enemy makes a fool out of me, so I have to stay mindful of the trickster who wants us to bite at each other and become more and more divided. I can’t forget that the Lord is always for unity, peace, and reconciliation.

Extend Grace. Withhold judgment. We all fall short sometimes, but that is not who we are at the core. Let us all be reminded and remind one another of our freedom from sin. May the ways of Heaven be released on earth through Holy Spirit moving in and through us. We are all conduit for Christ's redemptive Power. Let it flow freely!

3- WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LOVE YOUR ENEMY?

To love your enemy is to condition your heart for understanding.

When we run into those circumstances where it feels like a person is coming against us, we have to find a way to remember who is the true enemy. Every one of us has a story. We were born into circumstances beyond our control and handed an upbringing, not of our choosing. There is not one human being you will encounter in life who has not faced challenges, struggles, and suffering of some sort.

The first step to loving our enemy a decision of the will. When we choose to consider one another’s humanity, we tap into the mind of Christ. Jesus knows what it’s like to be human. He’s acutely aware of both the beauty and pain of this life.

Empathy is a muscle that requires both training and stretching. Growing our capacity for understanding requires intention. Here is an exercise you can use when you feel offended, hurt, betrayed, or otherwise discouraged and upset because of the actions or inactions of another human being. This is not an exercise in excuse-making, but a decision of the will to look outside our own experience to find empathy and compassion for another soul. 

Five practical steps to BUILD EMPATHY in the midst of pain:

  1. Remind yourself what you do NOT know about the person.

    • Their motives

    • What they are afraid of

    • What kind of pain they are in

  2. Decide to explore what might have happened in a person’s life that led up to them acting as your enemy. 

    • Abuse or neglect

    • Loss

    • Betrayal

  3. Consider what the person might be afraid of:

    • A secret exposed

    • Loss of control or power

    • Rejection

    • Not having enough

    • Failure

  4. Pray for the one who aligns their life with the world or who has slipped into an agreement with the enemy.

    • Redemption

    • Healing

    • Salvation

    • Restoration

    • Freedom

  5. Release your grip on the need to see the person respond or change as a result of our own process. This is about finding peace and health in your own heart, not controlling the outcome.


To love your enemy is to loosen the grip of the enemy on this world.

As we face the thinly veiled efforts of the enemy to destroy relationships and divide our nation through diverging opinions and polarizing perspectives, we as Followers of Jesus wield a powerful weapon. Christ in us disempowers the work of Satan. When we unleash the Truth of Jesus Christ as our victory over deceit and choose to love instead of getting sucked into hate, we crush the head of the serpent and send away him cowering. 

Galatians 5:15 says, "But if you bite and devour one another, watch out, or you will be consumed by one another.” Attitudes of dissension and disunity are highly contagious. We have to protect ourselves against this kind of behavior and refuse to cooperate with the enemy’s plot to bring division, particularly among Believers.

Look at all these tools He’s equipped us with:

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens. For this reason take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand. Stand, therefore, with truth like a belt around your waist, righteousness like armor on your chest, and your feet sandaled with readiness for the gospel of peace. In every situation take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit—which is the word of God."  Ephesians 6:11-17 CSB

When we remain conscious of and submitted to the King of Heaven and Earth who is alive and active in us, we unleash the only Power that can demolish the schemes of Satan, our one true enemy.  As for the ones who are under the power of the evil one, who truly intend to steal, kill, and destroy— they are powerless in the face of our Almighty God.


To love your enemy is to reveal the Kingdom of Heaven to a lost world.

Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

We reveal the Kingdom of Heaven when we generously extend mercy to one another as Christ did for us— especially those who think and live differently from us. At the very core, to love the people the enemy wants us to hate and reject is to provoke an eruption of God’s glory. If the world will know we belong to Jesus by the way we love, there is no space for creating enemies. 

As you move on from here and encounter people with a variety of beliefs, lifestyles, and world views, declare over yourself that you are too smart to fall prey to the trickster and that you are too devoted to Jesus to respond to any invitation to hate one of His children. We were created for His glory and making enemies of one another does not serve our common purpose in Him.

If you want to continue seeking the Lord for strength and wisdom with regard to what it means to love your enemy, I would encourage you to read and meditate on Ephesians 2 today. I believe Holy Spirit will reveal Truth and deliver breakthroughs with this passage. 

Do you have other thoughts on what it means to love your enemy?

I am still seeking the Lord with regard to this topic, so I would love to hear from you! Comment below or email me at hello@tiamcnelly.com!


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