Practicing vulnerability takes… well, practice! I want to share five simple ways we can all practice vulnerability in our daily lives.

Vulnerability is fresh on my mind because I’m just back from another trip to Kenya. My 18th journey to my other home was unique in that I was traveling with only my very best friend. Krista Blalock, the founder of Flourish Kenya, is a friend with whom I share 17 years of history. We are the closer-than-a-brother type of friends we read about in Proverbs 18:24. We’ve traveled together many, many times, but never just the two of us for 12 days of non-stop ministry.

About 2/3 of the way through the particularly demanding trip, we were getting tired. We were withdrawing to our rooms earlier and coming out later. One morning, I decided to go to my sister and open the door to a conversation about how we were doing as individuals and how we were fairing as partners and teammates during this extended one-on-one stretch. We cleared the air through honest conversation and encouragement and we closed our chat with prayer. As Krista prayed for me, she thanked God for my vulnerability. I was flooded with encouragement and felt so loved and seen by her at that moment.

I hadn’t been conscious of the decision to go to her and be vulnerable, but that’s exactly what I had done. I suppose it was an instinct that kicked in following the last several years of learning around the value of intentionally practicing vulnerability in my daily life. As vulnerable as it feels to share this win with you, I have to give this testimony of God’s faithfulness!

“When we are intentional about growing and press into the aspects of our character that need to mature, Holy Spirit is faithful to tend to those areas and bring about good fruit in our lives.”

This experience reminded me to review what I’ve learned so far and I thought I would give us all a quick refresher, so here are five simple ways to practice vulnerability in your daily life:

1. Speak up when others are afraid.

   When we can see that someone is genuinely afraid and recognize fear creeping into our own perspective as well, speaking what we are sensing can bring validation of emotion so freeing that fear dissolves on the spot. Without shifting the focus to ourselves, reassuring someone that they are not alone can unleash God’s Power over whatever is evoking fear. When we communicate empathy and wrap words of encouragement in God's Truth, the enemy's effort to paralyze through fear is foiled.

2. Ask questions when you don't have the answer.

   Let's normalize not having all the answers. Soon it won't take so much courage to admit we don't know. The more we admit we don’t know, the more others will feel free to do the same. Can you imagine a culture that embraces an I don’t know— a community that isn’t afraid to ask questions instead of feeling the need to have all the answers? How liberating!!! We can be the first to admit we don’t know everything by simply mustering the courage to ask our questions, no matter how obvious the answer may be to the ones who do know.

3. Be honest about personal struggles.

   Along with admitting you don't have all the answers, choosing to not pretend you have it all together is crazy liberating, both for you and those you share with. It can be a great way to find common ground. However, this is a bit of a delicate act. Sharing struggle with wrong motives is the most common cause of vulnerability being seen as weakness by those who do not understand the generosity of empathetic vulnerability.

   You can probably think of an example of someone sharing their struggle in a way that is self-focused. Sharing our struggles should flow from a heart of identifying with and helping others, not moaning and groaning or self-pity.  Empower others to press on by sharing how you overcame or made it to the other side of the struggle. If you haven’t yet, another vulnerable act would be to pray together and invite Christ into the midst of both of your struggles!

4. Allow others to see you fail.

   This takes great courage and humility. We can help others avoid our same mistakes or learn from what we learned in the process of failing. Perhaps seeing me fail will give you the courage to try. Fail out loud and put complacency to death in others. Your process of getting better will inspire them to do the same. 

   We don’t have to have it all worked out before we share. Sometimes putting failure out there ushers in the answers, solutions, or opportunities for collaboration that will bring about ultimate success!

5. Never wear masks.

   Don't be fake. Just don't. That's the opposite of generosity. Facades hold back what you have to give deep down in your soul. Walls are built out of fear and pride. Decide today that masks simply aren't in fashion. As an encouragement to destroy your temptation to put on a mask in certain situations, know this: people see through fake and will often subconsciously fill in the gaps of what they can't see with assumptions... good, bad or ugly. Give them the real you and they won't have to make up stories. 

How do YOU practice vulnerability in your daily lives? Any tips? Leave them in the comments so we can all keep learning and growing together!

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